You’d think I would be a serious gab-aholic seein’ as how I make my living as a phone sex operator. Well, you’d be wrong. I’m the observer… the quiet one in the crowd. That all changes once I’ve had a few drinks, but that’s besides the point. I suck at small talk. Small talk in person? Forget about it. They’ll be no more than maybe 60 seconds of it from me unless we quickly hit upon shared interests. Small talk over the phone? I prefer to call it pillow talk and I actually enjoy that. I love that easy talk about how we’re feeling, chat about weekend plans, discuss jobs and books and music and movies and so on. There’s no pressure so we just talk about whatever comes to mind. I thought I was pretty good at it too (you know… charming, witty, endearing, sexy, informed). About a week ago I was on the phone with one of my regular phone sex callers. The heavy breathing, moaning finale was ten minutes in the past and the pillow talk was winding down. I know this because he said something like, “The cum has dried on my stomach and I need to go chisel it off.” I can pick up on subtle hints like that.  ;)  Keep in mind this was like our 50th call. Then he said, “You’re not much of a talker, are you?” Huh? Maybe his orgasm had wiped his short-term memory because I was already reaching for a glass of water to soothe my overworked vocal cords. We’d been on the phone for almost two hours and I certainly remembered doing alot of talking. Granted, it wasn’t ALL talk but the naughty specifics of our call are none of your business. lol  After a few minutes (and yes, I was talking damn you!) I realized what he meant. I don’t have a problem with those nasty little awkward silences everyone else worries about. 30 seconds of silence doesn’t bother me. It’s not because I’m dragging out the call. I’ve never worked for a phone sex company so I don’t have the proper phone ho training anyway ;). I’m relaxing, adjusting my panties, listening to your breathing etc. and I assume you’re doing the same. Minus the panties part, of course, unless that’s your thing. I’m comfortable on the phone. We’ve just talked about some pretty intimate stuff and I’m comfortable with you. Personally I think that’s a good thing and I’m not about to change it. I’m not going to keep notecards by the bed in case I need a topic to fill in those silences. Besides, it wouldn’t even occur to me to use them because I suck at (forced) small talk.

I’m always asking how someone found me if they send email or call for the first time. Besides feeding my curiosity, it helps to know what advertising is paying off and what isn’t. Some of my favorite reading is found in my web stats. When I’m checking to see how many hits I’m getting I can also see what was typed into a search engine (Yahoo, Google, MSN etc) that led the surfer to little ol’ me. Don’t worry… I don’t know who is searching for what. I just know what they’re searching for. Most of it makes sense, like the terms “phone sex” and “phone sex recordings”. The ones that don’t make sense make for some of the best laughs.
Okay, how did these terms bring up my website? “dirty camp guys”, “nudes with heavy pubic hair”, “husband talks wife into fucking black cock”, “my hands feel dirty lately”, “his cock sagged”, “i m a girl how do i make myself cum alot!?”, “moving my labia” (huh? is that like wiggling your ears?), “how to make ammends with someone” (um, yeah, call me and I’ll tell you) and my personal favorite “dirty sex websites. i want the dirtiest you can find without me paying to see that are sex movies online”. Those are just a few from the past two months. I could list dozens that made me laugh.
Then there are the search terms that I get a thrill out of seeing like: “malena monica belucci stockings” (mmmmm), “wishlist fetish” (oh hell yeah! lol), “garvgraphx” (since he created all of these toons for me), “mutual masturbation”, “shy phone sex” and of course “abby talks dirty”. There are hundreds every month.
BTW if you have a website or blog that focuses on the heartbeat fetish, let me know. I get quite a few search engine hits for that term because I linked to the one and only website I’ve found that deals with it. People are obviously looking for more info so send me your link and (as long as it doesn’t suck) I’ll post it here.
So anyway… how did you find me?